this is so achingly beautiful😭 and honest that i’m almost afraid to respond, because i don’t want to disturb its stillness. but i will, softly.🥹
i feel the softness in you, the quiet kind , the kind that speaks volumes in silence. the kind that folds itself around rejection and anger and still manages to stay tender. and you’re right: rejection does suck. it’s loud in its silence, isn’t it? it makes everything else quiet, even the things we want to hold onto the dreams, the little joys, the reminders that we are enough.
you are enough. you are the answered prayer of someone, maybe even yourself, whispered so softly into existence that it was easy to forget. easy to think of yourself as an accident or a misstep when you were always, always a deliberate bloom.
i see you in your softness, your strength, your heartbreak. i see you in your Lagos bed, dreaming of a Paris that could have been. i see you trying so hard to turn off your feelings, to quiet the empathy that makes you who you are. but maybe the thing isn’t to crack the softness or crush it into something sharper. maybe it’s to sit with it, to let it hold you when rejection tells you you’re not worth holding. maybe the softness isn’t a flaw, but your way of loving yourself, wholly, fully, as you are.
and yes, rejection fucking sucks. but so do a million other things. and maybe, the softness we carry is what will keep us from breaking completely.
thank you for writing this. it’s a gift. and you are too.
There is a time when a tree knows it must bend, not because it is weak, but because the wind is unrelenting. And still it stands. Not because the world is kind, but because it must. I have read your words, and I tell you now: softness is not your flaw. It is your spine.
You know, I once said, the yam that will feed the village must first sleep beneath the soil. Maybe that's you. Still under. Still becoming. But necessary. Needed. Nourishing, in time.
You call yourself an answered prayer, and yet you ask, “whose prayer?” Perhaps the prayer was whispered not in words but in need.
You say empathy is the part of you you’d change, and I wonder how do you curse the very thing that makes you whole? Empathy is not your ruin. It is your rebellion. In a world that teaches numbness as survival, to feel is revolution.
Rejection, yes, is cruel. But let me tell you something you may already suspect: rejection is not always a verdict. Sometimes it is a mirror showing you how much you cared, how much you dared to want, how far you’ve come. You say “the yes isn’t always yours.” But even this this pain, this denied moment does not define you. You are not the stamp on a visa letter. You are not the silence after an unanswered text.
You are the boy who says “daddy” in full. You are the boy who hugs himself at night. That is power, not pity. That is legacy.
“Nobody can teach me who I am. You can describe parts of me, but who I am and what I need is something I have to find.” You are not lost. You are in motion.
You were made to love and be loved not in contradiction, but in harmony.
Honestly this mail entered my email at the right time tobe because you expressed everything I am feeling with your words and it made me feel like I am not alone. Someone out there probably in another part of the world or this part of the world I am feels and understands everything going on with me.
One thing I wish I can also change about myself is being empathetic. God,Tobe i really wish I can change that about myself. Because I feel too much,I notice everything,there is never an in between in my emotions or how I feel. It has its own downside and I can say that for most part of my life I have experienced the down side of being empathetic. I love how much you bare out your soul when you write and I am going to be doing the same thing with this. I am going through a friendship breakup and I told myself “don’t let it get to you too much “.i have been trying to follow that but I can’t because it hurts so much . I will go miles for this person and I realized they won’t even take a step to do the same . She hurt me so bad and I cried so much about it. I was telling myself I need to let go of how I feel because this person does not even care but I still feel it so much and there is no in between with this feelings. It comes in full force.
I also realize that being empathetic is part of the things that makes me “ME”.
I just wish there are people that will understand this me and be soft with this me but I guess it is what it is right.
Thank you for sending this mail Tobe and always expressing yourself the way you do,I can say this is the only nice thing that I received since this week started .
Rejection sucks so bad,I got a job and I was not even able to start it because of distance and accommodation and it hurts so bad because it would have made a difference in my situation and how things have been .
I love you and Hauwa ,Good bad Wahala is everything and more I laughed so much 😂😂.
I am sure it is the longest reply,I am sorry about that but I just had to express how I feel and the way I can relate to everything you wrote.
i felt this with every fiber of my being and this piece made it all so real. reaction hurts but know that what is meant for you will not pass you. you are doing so well tobe, don’t let this wey you down okay? lamentations 3:37❤️
I felt this in my chest. That softness you describe, I carry it too. It makes everything hit deeper, makes rejection feel like more than just a “no,” like a reflection of who you are. I’ve had moments where I wanted to turn my emotions off, where feeling anything felt like too much. And yeah, the silence of rejection, it’s so real. It doesn’t yell, it just sits there and reshapes you slowly. I’ve been there, questioning why I care so much, why I feel so deeply. But even in all that, you’re still showing up with honesty and heart. That matters. You’re not alone in this. I see you, because I’ve been you.
This is actually my first time reading any of ur writing and I must say you are so good at what you do to be 🥹😭I love loved it thank you so much coming from snap though
The only writing that gets to me is my writing and For the first time I saw a writing and this piece I felt with every fiber of my being and this it felt and made it all so real!!!
I see you Tobe, You are doing so well Tobe. I'm rooting for you! I love you Tobe! ❤️
That sunken feeling in your stomach, the rapid heartbeat, and sweaty palms. I remember failing my first jamb after a record of being a straight-A student in high school. I remember being so sad I couldn’t even express myself when I came home; I collapsed into my bed, wishing I had died there, thinking that was the end and my future was jeopardized. That was the first time I ever felt like nothing! Absolute nothing. I remember it today, and honestly, it didn’t really matter like I thought it did. There will be many wins and also losses, but that doesn’t make you a loser, neither does it define you. And every lost opportunity paves the way for an even bigger opportunity that will never pass you by. And please WATCH GOOD BAD WAHALA ON YOUTUBE.
I'd like to think my day's going well. I think it is especially now that I don't have to be the one to write the whole of this about the rejection I got tonight because of my age.
I don't know about anyone else's but you're an answer to my prayer, Tobe.
and yes, I'd go watch Good, Bad and Wahala. I don't know why I didn't get a notice sef🤧
Reading your thoughts unfiltered is like getting to know you first hand without having to meet you physically. It's more or less like a different kind of privilege. Like granting me a super power to read you - literally😂.
I enjoy reading every word that comes from you.
Thank you for making it utterly normal to express these kind of emotions - both negative and positive in the most amazingly amazing way. Thank YOU for letting me into your head😅.
You know Tobaby I really wanted to respond to this because I loved it so much but I didn’t know exactly what to say to you but I do now.
Your writing brought a much needed softness and calmness to my morning (I read it immediately I woke up), it’s a blessing to be able to share these feelings with you in writing and for a person like me that doesn’t really have the ability to express my emotions the way I want to most of the time I can tell you that it gets really tiresome most times.
I’ve got so much in me that I feel like I could explode sometimes, my cold face doesn’t do me any good either. People just assume the personality from the face and I’ve gotten tired of correcting, so I’d say enjoy the beauty in your ability to feel, express and feel again to the fullest because for me there’s nothing worse than not knowing what to feel in certain moments in your life because you’ve shoved your feeling down so much. It really sucks Tobs, so keep being the amazing Tobaby that made me download Substack in the first place. I really hope you get to read this
Sending you love❤️❤️
As someone in the comments said, ‘rejection is redirection’ or you’re amazing and the system is not, it’s just not you ❤️
wow.
this is so achingly beautiful😭 and honest that i’m almost afraid to respond, because i don’t want to disturb its stillness. but i will, softly.🥹
i feel the softness in you, the quiet kind , the kind that speaks volumes in silence. the kind that folds itself around rejection and anger and still manages to stay tender. and you’re right: rejection does suck. it’s loud in its silence, isn’t it? it makes everything else quiet, even the things we want to hold onto the dreams, the little joys, the reminders that we are enough.
you are enough. you are the answered prayer of someone, maybe even yourself, whispered so softly into existence that it was easy to forget. easy to think of yourself as an accident or a misstep when you were always, always a deliberate bloom.
i see you in your softness, your strength, your heartbreak. i see you in your Lagos bed, dreaming of a Paris that could have been. i see you trying so hard to turn off your feelings, to quiet the empathy that makes you who you are. but maybe the thing isn’t to crack the softness or crush it into something sharper. maybe it’s to sit with it, to let it hold you when rejection tells you you’re not worth holding. maybe the softness isn’t a flaw, but your way of loving yourself, wholly, fully, as you are.
and yes, rejection fucking sucks. but so do a million other things. and maybe, the softness we carry is what will keep us from breaking completely.
thank you for writing this. it’s a gift. and you are too.
your comment is just as soft and warm as this piece, it feels like the perfect reply to his work
THANK YOU
There is a time when a tree knows it must bend, not because it is weak, but because the wind is unrelenting. And still it stands. Not because the world is kind, but because it must. I have read your words, and I tell you now: softness is not your flaw. It is your spine.
You know, I once said, the yam that will feed the village must first sleep beneath the soil. Maybe that's you. Still under. Still becoming. But necessary. Needed. Nourishing, in time.
You call yourself an answered prayer, and yet you ask, “whose prayer?” Perhaps the prayer was whispered not in words but in need.
You say empathy is the part of you you’d change, and I wonder how do you curse the very thing that makes you whole? Empathy is not your ruin. It is your rebellion. In a world that teaches numbness as survival, to feel is revolution.
Rejection, yes, is cruel. But let me tell you something you may already suspect: rejection is not always a verdict. Sometimes it is a mirror showing you how much you cared, how much you dared to want, how far you’ve come. You say “the yes isn’t always yours.” But even this this pain, this denied moment does not define you. You are not the stamp on a visa letter. You are not the silence after an unanswered text.
You are the boy who says “daddy” in full. You are the boy who hugs himself at night. That is power, not pity. That is legacy.
“Nobody can teach me who I am. You can describe parts of me, but who I am and what I need is something I have to find.” You are not lost. You are in motion.
You were made to love and be loved not in contradiction, but in harmony.
Be kind to yourself no one teaches you that
There’s something so familiar about the way you write, it’s so kindred to me
Rejection f*king sucks....unless it's nysc lol
😂😂
😹💔
😂😂😂
Honestly this mail entered my email at the right time tobe because you expressed everything I am feeling with your words and it made me feel like I am not alone. Someone out there probably in another part of the world or this part of the world I am feels and understands everything going on with me.
One thing I wish I can also change about myself is being empathetic. God,Tobe i really wish I can change that about myself. Because I feel too much,I notice everything,there is never an in between in my emotions or how I feel. It has its own downside and I can say that for most part of my life I have experienced the down side of being empathetic. I love how much you bare out your soul when you write and I am going to be doing the same thing with this. I am going through a friendship breakup and I told myself “don’t let it get to you too much “.i have been trying to follow that but I can’t because it hurts so much . I will go miles for this person and I realized they won’t even take a step to do the same . She hurt me so bad and I cried so much about it. I was telling myself I need to let go of how I feel because this person does not even care but I still feel it so much and there is no in between with this feelings. It comes in full force.
I also realize that being empathetic is part of the things that makes me “ME”.
I just wish there are people that will understand this me and be soft with this me but I guess it is what it is right.
Thank you for sending this mail Tobe and always expressing yourself the way you do,I can say this is the only nice thing that I received since this week started .
Rejection sucks so bad,I got a job and I was not even able to start it because of distance and accommodation and it hurts so bad because it would have made a difference in my situation and how things have been .
I love you and Hauwa ,Good bad Wahala is everything and more I laughed so much 😂😂.
I am sure it is the longest reply,I am sorry about that but I just had to express how I feel and the way I can relate to everything you wrote.
I really wish I can write like you do .
You are a star Tobe
Oh Tobe
Our very own Tobaby💕
After reading every love letter that enters my mail
All I want to do is hug you
Rejection sucks every damn time but never forget that every disappointment is a blessing!!
i felt this with every fiber of my being and this piece made it all so real. reaction hurts but know that what is meant for you will not pass you. you are doing so well tobe, don’t let this wey you down okay? lamentations 3:37❤️
Tobe I watched Good Bad Wahala and I laughed my wahala out 😂
You say you want inverter nau 😂😂
Nice one my Tobaby 💕
I felt this in my chest. That softness you describe, I carry it too. It makes everything hit deeper, makes rejection feel like more than just a “no,” like a reflection of who you are. I’ve had moments where I wanted to turn my emotions off, where feeling anything felt like too much. And yeah, the silence of rejection, it’s so real. It doesn’t yell, it just sits there and reshapes you slowly. I’ve been there, questioning why I care so much, why I feel so deeply. But even in all that, you’re still showing up with honesty and heart. That matters. You’re not alone in this. I see you, because I’ve been you.
This is actually my first time reading any of ur writing and I must say you are so good at what you do to be 🥹😭I love loved it thank you so much coming from snap though
The only writing that gets to me is my writing and For the first time I saw a writing and this piece I felt with every fiber of my being and this it felt and made it all so real!!!
I see you Tobe, You are doing so well Tobe. I'm rooting for you! I love you Tobe! ❤️
That sunken feeling in your stomach, the rapid heartbeat, and sweaty palms. I remember failing my first jamb after a record of being a straight-A student in high school. I remember being so sad I couldn’t even express myself when I came home; I collapsed into my bed, wishing I had died there, thinking that was the end and my future was jeopardized. That was the first time I ever felt like nothing! Absolute nothing. I remember it today, and honestly, it didn’t really matter like I thought it did. There will be many wins and also losses, but that doesn’t make you a loser, neither does it define you. And every lost opportunity paves the way for an even bigger opportunity that will never pass you by. And please WATCH GOOD BAD WAHALA ON YOUTUBE.
I'd like to think my day's going well. I think it is especially now that I don't have to be the one to write the whole of this about the rejection I got tonight because of my age.
I don't know about anyone else's but you're an answer to my prayer, Tobe.
and yes, I'd go watch Good, Bad and Wahala. I don't know why I didn't get a notice sef🤧
“Rejection might be redirection” the more you say this , the more you would believe it .
Reading your thoughts unfiltered is like getting to know you first hand without having to meet you physically. It's more or less like a different kind of privilege. Like granting me a super power to read you - literally😂.
I enjoy reading every word that comes from you.
Thank you for making it utterly normal to express these kind of emotions - both negative and positive in the most amazingly amazing way. Thank YOU for letting me into your head😅.
You know Tobaby I really wanted to respond to this because I loved it so much but I didn’t know exactly what to say to you but I do now.
Your writing brought a much needed softness and calmness to my morning (I read it immediately I woke up), it’s a blessing to be able to share these feelings with you in writing and for a person like me that doesn’t really have the ability to express my emotions the way I want to most of the time I can tell you that it gets really tiresome most times.
I’ve got so much in me that I feel like I could explode sometimes, my cold face doesn’t do me any good either. People just assume the personality from the face and I’ve gotten tired of correcting, so I’d say enjoy the beauty in your ability to feel, express and feel again to the fullest because for me there’s nothing worse than not knowing what to feel in certain moments in your life because you’ve shoved your feeling down so much. It really sucks Tobs, so keep being the amazing Tobaby that made me download Substack in the first place. I really hope you get to read this
Sending you love❤️❤️
As someone in the comments said, ‘rejection is redirection’ or you’re amazing and the system is not, it’s just not you ❤️